Duude, it sucks not being able to talk to you. Especially on a weekend? Mygahd, makes me sad.

All I’m doing right now is trying to distract myself from thinking about yesterday and about how bad it went. It really is not working. I miss you. I probably should have just stayed in Mira Mesa to prevent all this..

“He doesn’t hang out with alot of girls anymore because he said she’ll get jealous.”

I miss you..

Falling in love with you was not a mistake. It was the best decision of my life as of now.

There goes night one with barely any sleep.

What I want to do now? I want to chase after you, and just hope you’ll forgive me one day. I really did love you. And every word we spoke of today? I meant EVERY single one of them. I really do want to be with you, I really am willing to wait, and I really loved you more than anyone else. I want to beg and beg for forgiveness but I may never get it. All I want to do right now is be with you right now so I can talk to you about what happened. I don’t want to leave this on a bad note. I hurt the person I loved the most and I regret it to the point I’m actually posting the things in my mind. I can’t keep it to myself.. Knowing me.. I probably won’t want an answer later. If we’re done, then I want to know… My words probably have no worth anymore. None.

Sigh.. It’s hard now. I don’t have anyone to talk to about my problems right now; probably for awhile or never again because you were the only one I could talk to about this. I wish things did not end that way. I always fuck up. Fuck, I don’t want to cry at this time.. I’ll just stay out until whenever I guess. I hope Spring Break goes by fast now because I wanna know what’s going to happen.. FUCK… Dude.. Just.. Omgosh… I don’t know anymore, I really don’t…

I understand that what I did was bad. I know that. And you probably won’t ever talk to me again so i’ll just assume that all my waiting just went to waste. No, it didn’t go to waste. I honestly had fun talking to you and I really did feel strongly for you but now… I guess it’s just done. I know you’re not going to say anything either after what happened today, so i’ll just stop thinking about what we could’ve been. Im sorry. I fucked up 2months ahead of time and I fucking know it. Im sorry.. I really am. I actually started crying a after you left because that was the first bad note we ever left on. Sigh.. I’ll assume we’re done? Idknow, we’ll see what happens after two weeks. I struck out twice before this and I just added the third one. Three strikes and im out…

~_~…